Score: 3

"Pathetic."

submission: Another One Level Game

date: August 4, 2008

There's a difference between a fun challenge and completely unfair circumstances. Any one improvement would have made this game infinitely easier but as it stands it is completely impossible unless you've got insanely good luck.

The cannons fire randomly and give no warning, and I swear you've programmed in proximity checks because they only tend to fire right when I go in front of them. The bullets move so quickly that by the time you react, you're already dead. There are times when they don't fire for several seconds, but I know I can't pass in front of them because when I finally do, THAT'S when they'll peg me, but meanwhile the homing orbs are bearing down on me.

The fact that you even have homing orbs sucks. They're larger than I am, they move quicker than I do when I'm slow and still almost as quick as me when I'm fast, and you have TWO?! One was bad enough and now I'm being closed in from two directions?!

And the speed thing sucked. You almost never need the slow ability and the fact that you always start off as slow sucks. I always have to go into the upper left corner and click the button each time I die. Half the time I accidentally leave my cursor there or another place in the playing field and it ends up as a distraction because as soon as I click it the cannons are already bearing down on me. It's a useless ability anyway, but it wouldn't have been nearly as annoying if you could just hit the spacebar or another key to switch instead of keeping one hand on the keys and another on the mouse, or better yet, leave your speed as it last was when you died.

And the lightning doesn't help things, because then I can't go to the other half of a field because of cannons, the lightning just turned back on and will stay on for several seconds, closing in my play area, making me dangerously close to the orbs and then dying when I finally hit them. The area where it's safe to move around can get so small so quickly and so without warning that the game takes far more luck than skill.

The farthest I got was when I somehow avoided the lightning and the orbs and cannons only for the top wall to suddenly come flying down really quickly when I was in the top of the arena and I never even got back up to that point. If me chucking an active chainsaw at my monitor out of frustration is a sad ending, then I believe your warning.

Score: 6

"Eh..."

submission: Brawl Taunts

date: June 6, 2008

It has some strong points, but a lot of the skits are hit or miss and lose their humor and just get annoying after the first time around. That said, the Link one still cracks me up each and every time. SJRAAAAAURGHK.

Score: 10

"Wow."

submission: Submachine2: Lighthouse

date: August 14, 2007

This game is really something. Loved the first, had to use a few hints if I remember correctly.

(Minor spoilers ahead, people.) Here I've got 18 secrets, four of the five lights lit in the top room, and all of my item slots filled and all of the items used, and I've only been playing for about an hour, and this is my first play and I haven't touched a walkthrough yet.

Now to just get to the end...

Score: 10

"Very nice."

submission: *Rhythm Breaker*

date: February 13, 2007

Jazz and techno. Very nice, I might use this.

Score: 10

"Geez..."

submission: Confines of a Memory (Abbv.)

date: February 11, 2007

Nice one. I almost cried - reminds me of when my parents are gonna go.

My dad's already in his fifties and isn't in the best shape of his life, and my mom's in her forties yet she gets a life-threatening illness every other year, it seems.

I don't think it'll be too long, maybe about another decade before the first one goes, and I don't think I'll be able go on.

Touching that you did this for your mother. I think she'd be happy if she heard this. I'm supposing she passed away - if so, I'm sorry.

Very touching.

Score: 9

"Oh, that melody?"

submission: Haunted Woods

date: January 20, 2007

That melody's from the opening sequences of Bomberman 64 - see, I told you, not asked you.

Otherwise, great song.